Yesterday I cut Isaiah's hair.
No, I mean like really cut it.
He's had long hair since it grew in as a baby and it was a part of his vibe, you know? It was curly and long and wild and crazy and it just fit his bigger-than-life personality. (When you're the youngest of 4 boys, you've gotta learn to hold your own, after all.)
My middle two boys had long curly hair too but I gave them both a short haircut earlier on when they were two, before the style was able to solidify along with their personalities. Because I waited so long with Isaiah, I thought I'd never work up the courage to actually cut it. I mean, he's my last baby. His hair is so soft and snuggly. And I knew that once I cut it, it would be more than just a drastic physical change- it would, in a way, signify the closing of a pretty long and intense chapter of my life: being a mom of littles.
Because even though kids and moms don't change in a day or because of a silly haircut, we are affected by these small and seemingly insignificant changes. Visually, he looks so different! I took him to the store afterward to pick out a special treat, and watching him hop out of the van and walk by my side into the store, he looked older. He seemed older. Kissing him at night while he slept was different- no more thick curls to brush behind his ear, no more nuzzling my nose into his soft tufts and breathing in the smell of his shampoo. And he looks just like his brother Gabe now, and a little less like the "him" that we've known for so long. When he looked at his reflection for the first time he laughed and said, "I'm Gabe!".
At the end of the day it's just a haircut, and life goes on. To some people these things aren't a big deal. But to me they are. I knew that when the day came that he would get his Big Boy Haircut it would have to be a spur of the moment thing so I wouldn't have time to ruminate on it. I'd just need twenty seconds of courage to begin.
Yesterday I looked at his long, messy hair and knew that I was brave enough to cut it right then. I asked Dave what he thought and he agreed. So I said I was getting my hair tools out immediately because if I waited I might change my mind. I asked Dave to get his camera out. I pulled Isaiah up on the chair and put a cape around his neck. Heart pounding, I reached into my hair tool box and pulled out my clippers and attached the #2 guard. I took a deep breath in and breathed out slowly, pursing my lips, and grabbed my comb. I knew that once I ran the first pass up the back of his head I'd be ok, because there was no going back after that.
I cleared my mind of any thoughts or emotions and without hesitating I quickly ran the clippers up the back.
DONE.
The rest of the haircut Dave and I laughed and sputtered and marveled at his changing looks. I ran some forming cream through his hair and, as you can see above, he now has a beautiful Big Boy Haircut that accentuates his big blue eyes. It's funny how cutting a boy's hair short for the first time makes their face seem so much bigger and their head so much smaller. Hah!
Now, onward to the next chapter, the next adventure, the next season.
"You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it."
WE BOUGHT A ZOO
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