I've recently become fascinated with the enneagram.
I know I'm late to the boat, but better late than never, right? It really is so fascinating. I've taken the test before but it wasn't the official one, it was a free one that I never felt was quite accurate. So finally I just paid the $12 and took the legit test, and my result was a 7: The Enthusiast.
Type 7's are typically outgoing and love experiences that are fun and give them a sense of adventure. They're usually optimistic and look at people and situations from a positive perspective and try to avoid pain or negative feelings. They're known for being spontaneous and impulsive, and this just made me think of YOLO (you only live once). Curiosity drives us to experience new things, and we don't do well with boredom. Actually, I've always told people it's difficult for me to actually get bored because I can make fun no matter where I am or what I'm doing, even if it's just in my head. On the flip side, 7's struggle to be disciplined because they don't want to experience the negative feeling of doing something they don't want to do (guilty)- however a healthy 7 will maintain a balance by doing the things they need to do then balancing out that discipline with something fun. Type 7's also struggle with FOMO (fear of missing out). For me, this plays out in the talent field. I love creating things and working with my hands, so I've tried and developed many different skill sets including hairstyling, photography, writing, and macrame to name a few. Basically I don't want to be stuck doing one thing forever because I might miss out on all the other fun things I could do!
If you have taken the test, I'm guessing you might have had a similar experience, but this is how it went for me: the more I read it, the wider my eyes got, I laughed, I cried, and well I felt like I finally understood myself. In fact I really haven't stopped thinking about it since I took it a week ago! I know that sounds dramatic, but hear me out.
For years I have lived my life trying to please other people and believing things about me that were unhelpful. For example, I've told myself many times that I have ADD and that's why I have trouble focusing and why I seem to always need mental stimulation. I'm "scattered" because I hop from interest to interest, "thing to thing", and I'm "undisciplined". I don't like going out all the time because that's not what Dave wants and I want to make him happy (he's an introverted type 4).
Reading about my type was so freeing to me! Now I'm seeing all these things in a positive light, that this is how my personality is, it's totally ok and even awesome, and here's where I struggle and how I can grow. How interesting!
This explains exactly why I hate making plans (really, really despise it actually), and feel trapped so easily. I always want to leave my options open and am wary of making the wrong choice lest I miss a better opportunity. This is why I have so many talents and have worked in different careers. I used to look at it as being scattered and indecisive, and now I realize that I simply just want to experience it all! I want to experience everything life has to offer and want to chase all my interests. Yes I love doing hair, but if it keeps me from dancing or music or photography or WHATEVER ELSE I MIGHT WANT TO DO, well I'll start to despise it. It's so freeing to hear that this is normal and in fact many other people are like this too!
Now I know there are healthy levels and unhealthy levels and I believe I am a healthy 7, though I definitely have not always been. The enneagram tells you where your number can be strong and where you can be weak, and how to grow- that has been eye opening for me!
So here's a funny story- when I was 18 I worked in a cubicle in an insurance call center (think Julie and Julia), and ended up getting fired. They told me I wasn't a good fit but didn't elaborate. I was so young and inexperienced and, quite frankly, unprofessional, but I didn't realize it at the time. In hindsight, I think it
might have had something to do with my painting my toenails during a call. I mean the customer couldn't see me and would never know, but come on. Who do you know who works in an office cubicle who paints their toes at work?! That's just crazy. Obviously I would never do something like that now, but that was just the beginning of me realizing I needed a job with a lot of creativity, freedom and variety (I started Cosmetology school laster that year, lol). I needed work to feel like an adventure, otherwise I felt trapped. That's why I've always loved working with people... because what is more fun than people?
So since I've found this out and read how I can grow, it's been really interesting to actually embrace my personality. Or at the very least to look at myself, my thoughts and impulses, and say "Yes, this is expected, this is WHO you are, and this is the best way to move forward" instead of looking at myself from a negative perspective. I've been more conscious of not acting impulsively and thinking through things more before I take action. I've allowed myself to do the fun things that I feel like doing, like taking the kids for an outing in downtown GR instead of Lowell because it's just more adventurous! I even rode the boys' scooter around the driveway tonight and, I can't believe I'm saying this, but I kicked an empty water bottle around the yard (remember 'kick the can'?) and LOVED it. Isn't that so weird? I know it is, but I totally don't care because it made me happy, and the boys loved it too. I actually think I liked it more than they did. It's weird but amazing how knowing my personality on a deeper level has completely changed my perspective on how I interface with life in general, all in good ways. I love it!
Anyway- if you've never taken the enneagram test I highly recommend it. You just might realize something about yourself that you never would have otherwise!
